reposted from (Naughty Normand).
Dear Mark,…We met at the hostel in Kingston a few months back and spoke a little. A while later I checked your website.To be totally honest I was quite saddened. I felt that the vast majority of the content was, for want of a better word, ignorant and negative. And promoting having sex with loose women around the world and seeing them as flags or notches that you collect and that this was the greatest reason and thing to achieve when travelling.…I feel guys who are obsessed with sex should just stay where they come from and not travel around the world with Viagra eyes, solely focused on trying to fuck a different woman in each place that they go and not being aware or respectful of other cultures or realizing all of the other wonderful things they could learn and experience when travelling.…I’m presuming that a lot of the guys that follow your website, if there were invited into a family’s house and there were women about, in the back of their mind they’d be planning how to sleep with the guys daughter, wife or both at the same time to have an ‘awesome’ story to share on the web or down the pub with other like-minded pricks. Not appreciating that someone is actually trusting you and trying to show you a bit of their life that is different from yours and you could learn something from.…You are clearly a talented, ambitious, and hard-working guy, I just felt your efforts were going to waste and even helping to create more negativity.Peace & love from Charlotteville, Tobago……Colin
The irksome, moralizing tone of the email stalled my reply, but I’ve reflected on it since and I’m going to answer Colin now. Before I get to the flag collecting, there’s a few other points I’d like to discuss.
Truth Trumps Feelings here.
Firstly, I would say this site is the opposite from ‘ignorant’. This site aims to educate men and deals with cold truths—unlike the majority of politically correct rubbish out there. If that seems ‘negative’ to you and others, so be it. I’ve always encouraged men to learn the local language and experience all a country has to offer, but there’s a million feel-good bullshit travel sites for that. But if guys know if they want to get laid or get high, there’s Naughty Nomad.
Moving on.
When it comes to sex, screw moral relatively.
As for Colin’s family home scenario, I’m sure there are men out there so unscrupulous that they would probably try to fuck the man’s wife, but I’m not one of them. Nor is anybody I associate with. But c’mon, Colin, the daughter is fair game! What if she was, like, super hot? She’s probably in her room flicking the bean over this handsome stranger who has come to stay.
The absolute best way to get intimate with another culture is by sleeping with the local women. I’m not saying you take pictures and high-five her dad afterwards, but if it’s discrete and consensual (I’m thinking a ‘nature walk’), it’s win-win! There’s nothing wrong with sexual desire and seeing women as women. Fuck ‘respecting culture’ or locals law. Sex is sex and I’ve left smiles from Oman to Oslo.
Is Collecting Flags Unhealthy?
It depends. Personally, I’ve never traveled for the sole purpose of “getting a flag” by sleeping with a local. I don’t encourage others to do so, either. If that’s somebody’s only reason for travelling, I think that’s pathetic and most certainly unhealthy. My goal is to travel every country in the world. Sex just comes with the territory.
Did I objectify women as merely flags along the way?
Hell, yes. I was practically the spokesperson for ‘flagging’ at one point. In the past, I’ve even turned down women who were 8s to go for 6s just because they were new flags!
During the mid-twenties, my flag count skyrocketed. I’d hit new milestones every year… 40, 50, 60. At first, this felt good. I had the approval of my peers. I earned a reputation, status, and even a small degree of fame from men the world over.
At the age of 26, I was at the top of my game and reached mastery, but eventually, I felt the need to retire.
There is no prize for this competition.
Like many men who count ‘notches’ or ‘lays’, I started to get little satisfaction from a new flag. It no longer sated my ego or brought happiness. It didn’t fill the void I hoped it would.
Like so many young men of my generation, I grew up thinking the best way to express my masculinity was through sport-fucking and sexual conquest. And like it or not, this kind of behavior actually gains respect among the men of today—many of whom could only fantasize about such a lifestyle. With no wars to fight or food to hunt, there’s not much else to do but play being men. Some play football, some play video games, and some play the mating game.
After reading The Way of Men, I finally released there was a little more to being a man than sport-fucking. I matured a little. I gave up counting. Last year, I only slept with one new nationality and I couldn’t care less. I’ve yielded greater well-being from developing long-term relationships.
That said…
I believe that every young man needs to go through a period of sexual rampage to realize that pussy isn’t everything.
Counting flagging and notches is a natural by-product of that. It’s a stage of development on the way to self-actualization.
If a man refuses to do this because of ideology,or he simply lacks the skills to do so, I believe he will never be fully content in later relationships and always be wondering ‘what if’.
So flag away, lads! It’s harmless fun, I say.
Just be aware that your sex life is not a deposit account and won’t bring you happiness further down the line.
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