Showing posts with label father – daughter relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label father – daughter relationship. Show all posts

A MUST READ: 16 Ways I LEARNT FROM LOSING MY VIRGINITY

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1. Many teenage girls sleep with guys because they are trying to find love, to find self-worth. But the catch is that the more guys they sleep with, the less self-worth they had. 

2. Many girls think that if they really care about guys, s’εx will bring them closer together. Indeed, sεx creates a bond. However, 80 percent of the time, the physical int!macy of first sεxμal relationship won’t last more than six months.

3. Couples who want what is best for their relationship or future marriage will have the patience to wait. 

4. Most of the time, when a girl gives away her virg!nity, she assumes the relationship will last forever. But study of more than 10,000 women shows that when a girl loses her virg!nity at that age at 14, she’ll probably have about thirteen more lifetime sεxμal partners.

5. Teen s’εx frequently causes tension within families because of the dishonesty that usually accompanies the hidden int!macies. Relationships with friends are often strained, and when things turn sour, the gossip and social problems often become unbearable.

6. Everyone talks about how hard it is to say no to s’εx, but no one tells you how hard it is when you say yes.

7. It is dangerous for a teenage girl to be sεxμally active. Because a teenage girl’s reproductive system is still immature, she is very susceptible to sεxμally transmitted diseases.

8. In fact, early sεxμal activity is the number one risk factor for cervical cancer, and the second is multiple sεxμal partners. A girl’s body, like her heart, is not designed to handle multiple sεxμal partners. 

9.While a girl might plan on slεεping with only one guy, she could be exposing herself to the STDs of hundreds of people through a single act of intεrcoμrsε.
Here’s how: Scientists studied the sεxμal activity of a public high school of about one thousand students. About half (573) of the students had been sεxμally active, and most of them had only been with one partner. However, when the scientists tracked the web of sεxμal activity among the students, it was discovered that more than half of the sεxμally active teens—without knowing it were linked together in a network of 288 partners within the school! So if a girl slept with a guy from this school, theoretically she could be in bεd with one-fourth of the entire student body.

10.The emotional side effects of premarital s’εx are also damaging to a young woman. One of the most common consequences of teenage sεxμal activity is depression. Girls who are sεxμally active are more than three times as likely to be depressed as girls who are abstinent. In fact, the condition has become so predictable that the Journal of Preventive Medicine recommends to doctors: “[Girls who are engaging in] sεxμal intεrcoμrsε should be screened for depression, and provided with anticipatory guidance about the mental health risks of these behaviours.
”Even if a girl experiments with s’εx once, research shows an increased risk of depression. Also, consider the fact that the rate of suicide attempts for sεxμally active girls (aged twelve to sixteen) is six times higher than the rate for virg!ns. 

11. Unfortunately, many young women search for meaning only in relationships with guys, instead of with God. It is not uncommon for a girl to have s’εx in order to make a guy like her more or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she is afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place.
A person’s heart is not made to be that close to a person and then separated. 

12. Since teenage sεxμal relationships rarely last, the girl’s sense of self-worth is often damaged. She may conclude that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to harmful practices, such as eating disorders. Or the disappointment she feels may drive her into a state of self-hatred. Some young women even begin to hurt their own bodies in an attempt to numb the emotional pain.
Such practices never solve the problems, though. If she wants to be loved, she needs to begin by loving herself. 

13. In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sεxμal relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted because without chastity she does not know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sεxμal.
She may even conclude that a guy does not love her unless he makes sεxμal advances toward her. She knows that s’εx exists without int!macy, but she may forget that int!macy can exist without s’εx. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially, but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical plεasμrε. 

14. Such a lifestyle will also take its toll on her ability to bond.
Here’s why: Sharing the gift of s’εx is like putting a piece of tape on another person’s arm. The first bond is strong, and it hurts to remove it. Shift the tape to another person’s arm, and the bond will still work, but it will be easier to remove. Each time this is done, part of each person remains with the tape. Soon it is easy to remove because the residue from the various arms interferes with the tape’s ability to stick.

15. The same is true in relationships, because neurologists have discovered that previous sεxμal experiences can interfere with one’s ability to bond with future partners. This does not mean that if a person is not a virg!n on the wedding night, he or she will be unable to bond with a spouse. It simply means that when we follow God’s plan, we have the most abundant life possible.
But when we turn from his designs and break his commandments, often we are the ones who feel broken afterwards. 16 Spiritual. Sin cuts us off from God, and this is the most serious consequence of premarital s’εx. After going too far, many of us know all too well the cloud of guilt that weighs on our hearts. The solution is not to kill our conscience but to follow it to freedom.

It is calling us, not condemning us. Provided we repent, God will be there to welcome us home and let us start over. What this all means is that our bodies, our hearts, our relationships, and our souls are not made for premarital s’εx. We should wait to have s’εx.
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How a father could be sexually interested in his daughter



By Candida
No matter how repulsive majority of the public think incest is, it is troubling that a lot of cases involving what is now termed ‘Genetic sexual attraction’ surface everyday – in the papers, on the telly and even on the grapevine.
father”Every day”, says an expert, “children from broken homes and polygamous homes are always seeking for their biological family. And it is a dangerous trend as quite a number of these ‘lost and found’ relatives may find themselves drawn sexually towards a close relative mothers, sons, fathers and daughters, brothers and sisters …”.
Three years ago, Constance, a divorcee finally remarried and relocated outside Lagos. Her only daughter from her first marriage refused to be up-rooted from the school where she was doing so well and opted to live with her father. “I was dead against her living with a man who didn’t even bother to know what was happening in his daughter’s life after we split”, Constance explained.
“She was then 17 and I didn’t discourage her from asking him if she could live with him until she finished secondary school. I was sure he would refuse and I would gleefully tell her `I told you so,’. I was greatly surprised when he not only agreed for Tope (her daughter) to live with him, he promised to assume full responsibility for her education. By then, he was doing very well in business and looked fairly comfortable financially.
“It was a relief in a way as I didn’t want my new husband to have the problem of a step-daughter on his hands. Tope flourished in her father’s care and it was obvious he wanted to make up for lost time. Tope was introduced to other family members and it was clear that father and daughter hit it off. He lavished gifts on her and she became really sophisticated over the years.
Then her father’s wife blew the whistle on both of them. One of the children, a lad of 16 had picked up Tope’s mobile to call one of his friends. When he was through, a text message came in for Tope and he accessed it out of curiosity. Then he noticed other messages from their father’s mobile, read them then promptly handed the phone to his mother. The messages she read made her toes curl. It was obvious Tope was having sex with her father through the series of text messages he sent to her.
“I felt sick to my stomach. By this time,Tope was at the university and her stepmother had kicked her out. She now lives on campus and told me she would soon relocate to a one-room apartment she’d found near her university. Her dad paid for everything and she’s refused to severe relationship with him. She said the sex thing was a one-off and they were both drunk at the time.
When I reminded her of what I’d read from the text messages her had sent to her, she clamped up. My current husband had warned me to be really careful here or I would be the enemy. But how can I be `careful’ about an incestuous relationship? True it happens all of the time, but should you wish it on your worst enemy …”
Analysing incestuous relationships further, the expert said: “Whilst trying to analyse the rationale behind this abnormal behaviour, psychologists have pinned the name GSA – General Sexual Attraction on it. This affects parents and children and brothers and sisters who are reunited after a long number of years. Normal taboos have not been built up within the family, with the result that there can be abnormal sexual attraction. Tolu’s case is typical of the GSA epidemic where there never was a normal father – daughter relationship.
“GSA is rare between people raised together in early childhood, as most siblings have evolved to prevent incest. Several factors may contribute to GSA. People commonly rank faces similar to their own as more attractive and trustworthy. Heredity produces substantial physical resemblance between close relatives. Shared interests and personality traits are considered desirable in a mate. In cases of parent – child attraction, the parent may recognise traits of their sometime mate in the child. Such reunions typically produce complex emotions in all involved”.
Some years ago, there was a report that a brother and sister couple in Germany were fighting anti=incest laws. They grew up separately, met as adults, and have had four children together. Not long ago in far away Indiana, USA, Phil Bailey, a 26-year-old man, and his grandmother Pearl Carter, 72, were reported to be trying to have a surrogate baby after they’d started having regular sex.
Makes you sick doesn’t it? Unfortunately, all over the world, people like Tolu and her dad are forever yielding to human weakness – it doesn’t make it right or acceptable. Just sad.

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