Showing posts with label act. Show all posts
Showing posts with label act. Show all posts

Fela Kuti: And the beat goes on



A new musical about Fela Kuti has drawn rave reviews in New York, and a West End run is eagerly awaited. Now his son Femi wants to bring it home to Lagos




As midnight approaches in Lagos, the heat has barely subsided. Up on stage, a lithe, sweat-soaked figure is gripping the microphone and working a single song that's been building for half an hour. It swells to a finale that uses every one of the 20 or so band-members and finally stills the dancers that line the stage and fill the wooden cages above the dance-floor.
The song has no name. It's just been made up, and this may be the first and last time this instant Afro beat classic is heard. Rehearsals are like that at the New Afrika Shrine, the second coming of Lagos's legendary club, mecca and stage for Fela Kuti.
The singer on stage is Femi Kuti, son of the bandleader once known as the Black President, and one of Nigeria's biggest stars in his own right. While famously anxious to avoid comparisons with his extraordinary father, it's hard not to see Fela's ghost on stage as Femi launches into a furious history lesson that rattles through the failures of 50 years of dictators before an enraged disquisition on the failures of today's politicians.
But Fela's legacy is not confined to his home. Among the empty bottles and grilled-chicken stands and just down from a stall full of books on African consciousness, a livid yellow canvas poster stands out from the shadows. It's promoting Fela! The Musical, a show that has opened to rave reviews in an entirely different world: Broadway.
The original Kalakuta (Rascal's) Republic, where Fela Anikupalo-Kuti reigned, has been rebuilt for New York's theatre-goers. It's been showered with praise by The New York Times, which wrote "there has never been anything on Broadway like this production".
The off-Broadway hit was picked up last year by starry producers in the shape of Will Smith and Shawn (Jay-Z) Carter, and opened in November last year to general acclaim. The musical has prompted a broader resurgence of interest in the remarkable life and times of the man who, along with drummer Tony Allen, fused Ghanaian high life with jazz, funk and native Yoruba music, to create Afro beat. The show will arrives in London this year at the Olivier theatre, mounted by the same creative team and is expected to transfer its New York success.
The Fela revival has been cemented by the news that the British director, Steven McQueen, who made a political debut with Hunger last year, has been lined up for a Hollywood bio-pic of the singer.
The rich world's sudden, mainstream embrace of an artist whose influence has never gone away in Nigeria, despite his death in 1997, has been met with ambivalence by some in Lagos, including his musician son. But, for the moment, Femi is not thinking about New York. He is in communion with his crowd right here in the Shrine.
"They want everybody to stop talking. Stop talking politics! Stop talking," he scolds his listeners, in a style that is part rap, part Obama and delivered in the meter of a Methodist preacher. The last verbal shot is fired at Nigeria's vanished President, too ill to talk to the nation or be seen in public for four months. "We want to know is Yar'Adua alive or dead?"
The question is followed by an ululating high-pitched call which the audience modulates and answers back. A procession of mostly young men put down spliffs and warm beer and cross the dance-floor to reach up and bump fists with their messiah. The atmosphere is religious.
Earlier in the same evening, Femi considered his father's legacy in a less sacred setting. Backstage, he can't hide his bemusement at the idea that the world ever forgot about his father or his concern that Fela's music should not be stripped of its original political meaning or divorced from its setting: Lagos. "I was 12 when my father was campaigning," he says. "I'm now 48 and things have not got any better."
There are few signs of age on the singer-songwriter, who played with his father's bands during the late 1970s and 1980s and has continued his tradition of social and political activism. A little grey at the temples and a slight gauntness that contrasts with his father's muscularity are all that give away the son's decades on stage. He is in some senses indicative of an unchanging Nigeria, a place where the same politicians and the same problems haunt a new generation and threaten to outlive even the younger Kutis.
The singer gives a roll-call of power cuts, colonels, corruption, looting and international opportunism that inspired Fela's songs such as "Zombie" and "International Thief Thief" and mean protest music makes as much sense in Nigeria now as it did in the big man's hey-day. And he can see why a new audience is thrilled.
"I can imagine the shock in their minds when they come across Afro beat, the life and times of my father," he says. "When they see the injustice and him fighting against corruption I can imagine a boy or a girl getting hooked on this whole story. As a young boy, I was getting hooked; it's a very massive story."
But he remains unconvinced about the meaning of his dead father's popularity. "What's the benefit of the mainstream listening to Fela Kuti?" he asks. "People love the music but they don't want the story. Maybe they will get the hook and want to know more about what it's like in Nigeria rich with oil with no electricity."
Femi said he never considered playing his father, a role that has been alternated between young performers Sahr Ngaujah and Kevin Mambo, and is more concerned with where Fela! will play if and when it returns to Nigeria. "I'm happy someone else feels it's important and on Broadway ... But the show will only be meaningful if it comes to the Shrine. The Shrine is more important to us than Broadway."
There is little anger in his tone and he seems to be joking as much as anything when he says: "I could make a one-man protest: I want it brought to the Shrine." But he's serious enough when he says "No", he hasn't been to see it, despite conversations with its rapper producers and, "No" he has no plans to do so. "I refuse to go until it comes back to Lagos. It has to come home if it's going to be any part of the struggle for African emancipation."
And he is positively furious at the suggestion that Nigeria's media mogul and booster-in-chief Nduka Obaigbena might be the one to bring it as part of his annual mega-show ThisDay festival. "He wants to take credit for bringing the Broadway show," says Femi accusingly. "He will get not one ounce of credit."
He then reels off a who's who of the music world – from Stevie Wonder to James Brown, Erikah Badu to Damon Albarn – who paid homage at the New Shrine long before newspaper publisher Obaigbena started bankrolling big names to come to his Lagos festival.
The current Shrine is still a world apart from Broadway or the West End. More reminiscent of an aircraft hangar littered with picnic tables it's an unpretentious and thoroughly unsanitised venue at peace with the chaotic city outside.
Its entrance is crowded with hawkers, touts and taxis and Lagos's famous "area boys" manage the traffic and attend to security at the club. Last year, the state governor, Babatunde Fashola, tried to close it as part of a campaign to clean up the city but quickly found that the Kutis can still make a noise globally when under attack from the authorities.
Yeni Kuti, who danced with her father's bands, and was in New York for the premiere of Fela!, now runs the Shrine. She bristles at the claim that it's unsafe as a venue for a musical. "They want to say it's dangerous. This is nonsense."
She can see the rough edges of her club but argues that that's part of the point. "Anybody can come to the Shrine and they won't be bothered. Every kind of people in Lagos go there; it's about the music and no one will bother them."
Femi is entertained at the idea that Nigerian authorities would have to clean up the area of the city where the club is if an international show came to town. "They would have to repair the roads and switch the power on and pretend it's all nice," he says.
But he's not holding his breath that the same robber barons his father lambasted and defied might find a way to cash in on him posthumously by hosting the musical at an expensive venue. "They want Fela Kuti to come play for them?" he says, full of mockery for Afro beat's new "wealthy fans" in Nigeria. "Well, he might come and play for them. But he would still tell them that they are all crooks."
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4 Things In Every Porn You Should Never Do In Real Life

4 Things In Every Porn You Should Never Do In Real Life





For approximately, oh, the entirety of civilization, we've been pretty bad at teaching people about sex. When you got The Talk from the middle-school woodshop teacher you bought cigarettes from, it probably mostly involved cautionary tales about his wicked case of super-herpes and very little about what people actually do in bed. All we've really got is porn, which is the absolute worst way to learn how to rub genitals together. Porn is a fantasy by necessity. Therefore, sometimes porn stars do things that are so far removed from reality that it actually takes me out of it and I can't even enjoy it anymore, kind of like the Wilhelm Scream in regular movies, but with just so much more dick.

And -- God help us all -- they've shown up on screen so often, people have started thinking those bizarre little porn tropes are what sex is. I beg of you, unless you have your partner's enthusiastic approval and cooperation, do not ever try ...

#4. Slapping Someone's Genitals



Let's get this out of the way -- slapping a penis or a vagina is not about BDSM. It's ridiculous that in 2015 I even have to say that there's nothing wrong with that between informed and consenting adults. What's weird is that this happens in totally non-BDSM scenarios, in the throes of regular, everyday passion. You see, kids, when a man and woman really love money, sometimes they'll be engaging in perfectly boring, average naked-time shenanigans on film when suddenly a vagina gets slapped. The woman squeals, the shenanigans resume, and that's how misconceptions are made.

When the young, male masturbaters that make up porn's target audience grow up and find themselves between the legs of an actual woman who isn't getting paid to react to sex with the excitement of hitting the Powerball, they'll often be under the impression that this is a thing most women enjoy, and the unsuspecting victim is going to end up very confused, because why? Why would you think that feels good? It doesn't even feel bad, particularly, but it's like you've just interrupted whatever presumably enjoyable activity you were just engaging in to poke me in the eye. Just, why would you do that?



"This sex yes?"

I'm positive that if you polled a representative sample of women, "I just love having my vagina manually assaulted" is not something you're going to hear often, though there are undoubtedly women who are into this. That's not saying much. Stand up, spin three times, and point at the first object you see -- there's someone who likes rubbing their crotch on that. (Hopefully not that specific one; you'll have to work that out with your roommate.) Just because you knew one woman who totally loved this doesn't mean you should spring it on someone unawares.

This is particularly common among those relatively inexperienced in the ways of sex -- something worked one time, so by God, you're sticking to it; it's all you've got. And don't confuse the absence of objection with enjoyment: You'd be surprised by the number of women willing to shrug off a little labia-spankin' in the spirit of not wanting to hold an awkward "sex ed. dos and don'ts" conversation when she's trying to get laid.



                                          "Oh, god. He's going to want to do that to me now ..."

But you'd also be surprised by the number of women who are perfectly willing to call a time-out to discuss exactly what the hell was going through your mind just now, like she's a head coach and you're the athlete who made a really stupid play. So don't assume she's into it and then proceed to pummel her puss. Just wait for the invite, then pummel.

#3. Spitting



In general, we could all stand to be a little less weird about bodily fluids. Unless you're equipped with a full-on American Horror Story gimp suit, you are going to get some of the more solvent parts of your partner on you; accept and embrace it. It's a natural part of sex. Spitting, as porn loves to feature, is unnatural, for two reasons.


You, the male spitter, from the female perspective.

One, if you think you're doing it for practical purposes, you should know that saliva is actually a really poor lubricant. You know how when you have chapped lips, you have to fight the urge to lick them, because you know it will just end up making them even drier? Think about that, but with a vagina. You can pause here if you have any apologies to make.

Two, it's legitimately repelling. When you spit in clothed situations, it's to show your disrespect for someone, or because you just put something gross in your mouth. Think about the implications you're making about your partner there. Unless you're doing some kind of racially charged police brutality roleplay, it's kind of insulting.



                                                          "Too real! TOO REAL!"

It's also lazy. Look, anal sex, for example, is a delicate operation, and if that's the care you're going to take with it, suffice it to say I'm having second thoughts about this whole thing. The first dude who spits in my butthole is getting donkey-kicked right off the bed, and I know dudes for whom spitting on their penises is an instant boner-killer. At least be hot about it? If you replace the lazy hocking with some long, slow licking, congratulations, you've actually now performed a sexual act.

Or just be a goddamn adult and buy some lube. It's chapstick for buttholes

#2. Positions That Are Used Only In Porn (For A Reason)

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Gentlemen, we're going to do an exercise. First, lay down on your back. Now put your knees over your ears. Good? Good. Now take a moment to contemplate what led you to this point in your life, where you're twisting yourself into a pretzel on the floor because you decided to play porno Monkey-See-Monkey-Do. All done? Now answer the following questions: How comfortable are you? Say, on a scale from one to "my hamstrings have detached themselves and run away"? How easy do you think it would be to get a boner right now? Try thinking about Christina Hendricks in a hot tub. Boobs just bobbing along on the water. Anything happening down there?
Kraig Scarbinsky/Photodisc/Getty Images
Or, while you're there, learn to blow yourselves and leave us alone.
You have now experienced sex with a man who's watched too much porn. It's a sad fact of life that there's very little overlap between the positions that look the best on camera and the ones that are the most conducive to an actual dicking. The legs-behind-the-ears one is used because everything is visible, but considering that the goal here is to rub things together, its real-world utility is minimal at best. My office is my couch, OK? I am not that flexible. At worst, you're asking for a fart on the balls. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of unsexy organs you're squishing there.
The other most frequent offender is the one where you're going in from behind and riding high, so to speak, which is again a visibility thing. It's so that the cameraman can get that awesome "between the legs" shot. What's happening on the receiving end is that you're being literally fucked sideways. There's a reason that's a curse -- it feels like one, in the "evil sorcerer" sense of the word.

Now, regarding both of these positions, a little angling is a good thing. The key words there are "a little." So please, over-porned guys, you have to remember that if you want to give a woman a vaginal orgasm you want to stimulate the G-spot, not pretend it's a pirate and stab it with a cutlass.

#1. Ass-To-Anywhere

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Because I assume we're all adults here, I also assume we're all aware that Urban Dictionary is written by 12-year-olds and most of the horrifying sex acts defined there aren't actually part of any adult's sexual repertoire. Unfortunately, there are exceptions. I'm talking, of course, about the fabled "ass-to-mouth" -- that is, butt sex to blowjob.
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The mournful frown of ass-to-mouth.
Everyone with access to the Internet can confirm that ass-to-mouthing does happen, and it's because interrupting the scene to go clean yourself would be kind of a drag (or, if the actress has a really good contract, they are cutting, but you would never know). It just also happens to be a standout among your Dirty Sanchezes and Rusty Trombones in that it's legitimately deadly. You ever hear of E. coli, son? Does the phrase "bloody diarrhea" mean anything to you? How about "brain tapeworm"? Are you absolutely sure you want to risk brain tapeworms because your boyfriend, for some ungodly reason, thinks it's hot when you gobble his bacteria-slathered knob?
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"Tapeworm, you say? Hm. I could stand to lose a few brain pounds ..."
While we're on the subject of penises trying to pull off an Around The World, there's another hole that is, let's say, butthole adjacent, and if you're attacking from the rear, it's real easy to slip back and forth between the two and, by doing so, ruin her whole goddamn night. So it shouldn't be a surprise that if you stick a shitty dick in a vagina, the woman can get a nasty UTI. If the woman you're trying to double-dip with has ever experienced the pain of a UTI, you're legally not allowed to blame her for bowling you over on the way to the bathroom for an Everclear douche.
I'd like to think that most men are sympathetic enough not to want to give a woman a case of fire-piss, so I'm sorry, you're going to have to either take a suds break between holes or pick a flavor and stick with it. Being a mature, adult male sex-haver means learning that when you go for the ass, you put blinders on your dick and you commit to the ass
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How to Fulfil your Girlfriend’s Rape Fantasy



Let's visit the concept of aggressive persistence in sexual escalation.  Referred to as   “rape game” by humorists,  this practice tends to incite controversy.
While by-passing a women’s token resistance has its place in a sexual interaction, it’s important to recognise genuine objections to your advances. Simple you would presume, but consider this…
False Advertising
What if she’s screaming “No! No! Stop it!”, but at the same time grinding your delicates. Mixed signals maybe, but those who possess a greater understanding of such dynamics would regard her body over her words. Often her verbal misgivings are merely a by-product of a conflict between Mammalian instincts and rational objections from the neo-cortex.
While she may crave your dick and relish the experience of being pounded by you, she might also regret the sex afterwards if she thinks it was a poor decision logically.
What if she was married and her husband found out?
What if she just screwed her best friend’s boyfriend?
Here’s her get out cause: “He raped me.”
Believe or not, in the eyes of the law – she’s right.
Bingo!
A Definition of Rape: In criminal law, rape is an assault by a person involving sexual intercourse with another person without that person’s consent.
She’s told you to stop, she kept saying no, but you kept going. She may have even put up physical resistance (albeit to get herself off on the idea of being dominated). You certainly were persistent when you think about it, weren’t you?
How would all this sound in court?
Before you know it, you’ve just made the sexual offenders list.
OK, so the above scenario is a little extreme, but it raises some good questions: Where does token resistance end? Where does one draw the line?
I’m reminded of the Julian Assange Case @ inMalafide.
I once dated a young Yoruba girl from Lagos. We were sharing our ultimate bedroom fantasies. She surprised me when she revealed her most desired sexual experience:
“I know it sounds strange, but I always wanted to be raped.”
She told me she wanted a guy to pounce on her and no matter how hard she fought, kicking and screaming, she would ultimately have clothes ripped off her body, get slapped around and get fucked hard. She wanted him to call her a “Stupid Whore!” and a “Fucking N!*g€r!”. She wanted to feel helpless, used and worthless.
It blew me away. How could any woman want to get raped? Then I asked myself a more puzzling question.. How do you rape a girl to fulfil a fantasy without actually raping her?
Bingo.

Welcome to Rape Fantasies 101

Here’s your get out clause: The Codeword.
Every time I’m with a new lover and things are getting heated, I introduce a codeword. This codeword means stop, unconditionally. Any other string of words may be interpreted as meaningless utterances. Often when women say “Stop” or “No” is just means “Try something else” or “Not quite yet”. Only the codeword truely means stop. A semantic ruse perhaps, but an important one.
A codeword I often employ is “Bananas”. This way I give her permission to resist verbally as much as she wants, but at the back of her mind she knows she can terminate any action with the word “Bananas”.
But seriously, stop.
Not only does this create trust, it’s also fucking hilarious. Any discomfort she may feel is instantly diminished with such a stupid phrase. The codeword creates a playful dynamic to an otherwise primal act.
Other good codewords off the top of head: “Frappuccino!” “Hippopotamus!” or “Babyshit.”
Make sure it’s a funny word and totally not sexy, as she will be less inclined to use it.  Such a word would completely destroy the mood, so if she uses it you know she means business.
As for my girl’s fantasy…. one day I burst into her room, grabbed her by the mane,  handcuffed her, beat her with my belt and assaulted her verbally while I made her to do whatever demeaning sexual act I saw fit.
Afterwards she told me it was the best sex she ever had…
So go ahead, try a little rape game.
Just remember: Bananas! ðŸ˜‰
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